Monday, November 12, 2012

Holiness, what is it? How do we get it? God has been impressing this on my heart the last while. I question why i am here, this state, this house,and this church. He could have put us anywhere,so here we are. I have been criticizing this church and had to repent of it, it is God's church. They call themselves the holiness church and although i don't agree with some things i do agree they strive for the same thing i do, to be on the narrow road and follow Jesus in truth. We had 5 days of revival meetings, an elderly man of oh lets say somewhere in his 80's spoke. Very very good. One night he spoke on being ready for heaven, will we pass the final inspection? Will he say well done good and faithful servant? Ever since i started going to Grace i purposed to live my life maybe out of fear, that Jesus would say to me well done my good and faithful servant. As i look around at Christians i see a deadness, i see a ho-hum carelessness about their relationship with Christ. It makes me want more, i know God has so much more for me than what i am experiencing today, and i want it! Not sure how to get it except doing away with things that do not please him and being in the word so much more. I get drawn in to the radio where most speakers have a world view, although I know the difference i'm not sure God wants me to listen to some.I just love to listen to preaching that i get it where i can. God has blessed me in that he pricks my heart when something is said contrary to his word. I do have a few web sites that i am starting to listen to instead of radio. I get a lot out of Alister Begg and Nancy Lee Demoss. I have so much time on my hands that i need to fill it and i want to fill it with Christ. After lunch yesterday i went to Carol's house where everyone from church had gathered for lunch. I went for fellowship, BORING! They sat around talking small talk, i was hoping for some spiritual conversation, none. Sure different from Maine and NY church. Oh how i miss both, you just don't know how some days my heart just aches for you all. If i don't keep my focus on Christ i fall in such a pit of depression. If you never experienced it, it is awful.The other day i was telling Jerry about what my Christian friends were saying on facebook about the election, he got mad and said that's why i don't want anything to do with religion, i thought Christians are suppose to trust this God of theirs to work even in government. He said a few other things and i tried to say then you will end up in hell and he said don't turn it back to me. As i held back tears going up stairs my thoughts went to Saul on his way to Damascus, he had no intentions of serving God but look what God did. I got on my knees beside my bed and let the tears flow in confidence that no matter how hard Jerry fights against the spirit, God can and will save him. Hallelujah! Well Terri will be coming home on the 20th. We were told of an airline where the rates are cheap. She could have flown on the 27th for $54.oo on a 2 hour flight from FL straight to Roanoke. Her flight is still cheaper than what we were finding. I need to check and see where else they fly to. Well i hope you all have a wonderful day, and please keep us in your prayers.

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